Thursday, September 25, 2014

Another Confession: Part Seven-and-Three-Quarters of The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker

[This is Part Seven-and-Three-Quarters of The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker. See also Parts OneTwoThreeFourFour-and-a-HalfFour-and-Three-QuartersSuggestions for My Dear ReadersA Note from Mrs HudsonFive,  A Plea For HelpSix, Seven, and Seven-and-a Half.]

Two confessions in less than twenty-four hours! Perhaps, Dear Readers, I shall soon know the identity of the Lady Slipper Stalker! I received the message below only a few hours ago...


Dr N,

I shall confess to placing the poster of the three orchids across from Señor Woodward's classroom, but I hope this doesn't lower my status as Prime Suspect #1. I feel so honored and have seldom been number 1 for anything except in the ugly sweater contest for the last two years. (Do you know of anyone who makes ugly orchid holiday sweaters? That might guarantee a three-peat for me!) I love the notion of flowers throughout campus as well as the misdirection that putting an orchid poster up seems to produce. 

I was surprised by two things related to placing that poster. The first was how easy it was to do. Imagine the possibilities of complex and careful scheming. The second was how very unobservant some are about something that only showed up on Monday of this week.

Please redact with a "strike-through" any parts of this email you think could assist our mystery stalker, whoever it might be.
Mr Diener, Prime Suspect #1.



The "Orchids of Minnesota" Poster that Mr Diener, Prime Suspect #1, placed across from Señor's room on Monday, the 22nd. 
Mr Diener told me he put up the poster on Monday of this week, which I have since confirmed with Mr Mattson, who was busily removing old staples from the bulletin boards in F-Wing last week: Mattson says there was no poster. This casts doubt on the information supplied by Emily W, who claimed that the poster had been up on the board before school even started! (I did wonder if someone--Mr Pearson, perhaps--had persuaded her to feed me misinformation!) In his message, Mr Diener gently accuses me of being "unobservant," but my lapse is now revealed to be less extreme than I earlier thought it was. Perhaps I need not have eaten an entire slice of Humble Pie?

In any case, it is clear that Mr Diener enjoys being Prime Suspect #1, even while he claims to be diverting my attention from the central mystery: the identity of the Lady Slipper Stalker

I ask you, my Dear Readers, can one be both Prime Suspect #1 and a semi-innocent bystander at once? I suspect Mr Diener's last sentence is a bit disingenuous... I do, however, appreciate this sudden surge of honesty!



Confession From a Copy-Cat: Part Seven-and-a-Half of The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker

[This is Part Seven-and-a-Half of The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker. See also Parts OneTwoThreeFourFour-and-a-Half, Four-and-Three-QuartersSuggestions for My Dear ReadersA Note from Mrs HudsonFive,  A Plea For HelpSix, and Seven.]

Over the course of the evening, Dear Readers, a tiny crack appeared in The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker! One of my suspects has confessed to playing a part in these mysterious events. Now, at least, I know who put the Advertisement on my vehicle

I must say, I admire Ms Ball's honesty, belated though it is! (If only the Lady Slipper Stalker would follow her lead!) She also confirmed my suspicions that she (perhaps like others yet unnamed) was inspired by the Photo in Question, and my response to it, to play along... I wonder how many Copy-Cats there are?
Confession from a Copy-Cat
I have also had more communication with the Ghostly Anonymous Commenter. I may have been a bit testy with Mr/Ms Ghostly, but I have been sorely provoked by these Kipperesque questions, as they lead me no closer to the identity of the Lady Slipper Stalker.
Ghostly repeats himself/herself in an attempt to distract me from the Real Question
I do look forward to further developments, especially if they bring me nearer to "the unravelling of This Mystery," as Ms Ball says. 

I notice she mentions a "conspiracy," in which she claims to have no part, but I am reminded of the Twenty-Five Year Club, of course. And I present below a list of its members for your contemplation. (I have heard though the social media grapevine that two new suspects members will be inducted on Friday, the 26th...) 
A Likely Bunch
Notice that some of the names I mentioned in my conversation with Ghostly are on this list, along with other suspects with whom, my Dear Readers, you are familiar. Keep your eyes and ears open, and let me know what you think. I will do the same.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Humble Pie: Part Seven of The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker

[This is Part Seven of The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker. See also Parts OneTwoThreeFourFour-and-a-Half,  Four-and-Three-QuartersFive, and Six, along with Suggestions for My Dear ReadersA Note from Mrs Hudson, and A Plea For Help.]

The Misplaced Monkey
Dick Culbert / Foter / CC BY
It has been a full week, Dear Readers, since I have had reason to address you, but do not think that I have been idle during this interlude. I do occasionally accept commissions from the local Orchid Society, and I was engaged in a most fascinating problem involving a Misplaced (and Bloodthirsty) Monkey (Dracula simia), but that is "a story for which the world is not yet prepared" ("The Adventure of the Sussex Vampire").*

I still eagerly await a reply to my Plea for Help from the League of Mathematical Scholars regarding the Coded Message, but I am pleased to announce that the Two Chocolate Pies are now spoken for (see the list below), and I have received many interesting clues as a result of dangling these tasty treats before my Dear Readers.
  • Thanks to Mrs Castle, I learned that Mr Diener (Prime Suspect #1) uses ciphers in a geo-caching project; she also reminded me that Mrs Birnbaum's classroom pet was a lizard of some kind (--I had forgotten all about the companionable reptile!). 
  • Mrs C also informs me that a Ceasar shift (such as the one used in the Coded Message) is far too rudimentary a cipher for Mr Pearson to employ. 
  • The Ely Scholar (my DNR-intern friend) also thinks the lizard points to Mrs Birnbaum, but that whoever the Lady Slipper Stalker is, s/he has many silent accomplices! (I agree!)
  • According to Sean S (and his older sister Clara, who engaged in a lengthy Facebook messaging session with me late one evening), and also according to Mr Mattson, who arrived at a similar conclusion, we cannot suspect English, Social Studies, Math, or Science teachers because the Confusing Miscellany, along with the Strangely-Punctuated Rhyming Quatrain, would seem to clear those Departments; thus, we must look to the Phy Ed or Fine Arts Departments for our culprit. (If so, I would favor Mr Anderson, with Ms Powell as runner-up.) 
  • Finally, from Tiffany W, I learned that Ms Durant is famous for her collection of rubber ducks (I had no idea!). 
I must also call your attention, Dear Readers, to a rather Philosophical Exchange between Yours Truly and a Ghostly Anonymous Commenter. See the screenshot below. 
The Philosophical Exchange

If any of you, my Dear Readers, can help me identify this Ghostly Anonymous Commenter, please let me know. He or She must be a former teacher (Mrs Birnbaum or some other?). I know of at least one who is both eloquent and fond of coloring books...
* * *
Dear Readers, I must now come to my main reason for communicating with you today:  I made a humbling discovery only yesterday. I have said previously that "I pride myself on noticing details, on hunting down the answer to the most perplexing problem, on checking and re-checking all the data at my disposal...Could I have missed something?" (Part Five). Well, clearly I missed something that has been staring me in the face for many weeks now. I was walking past Señor Woodward's room yesterday, and I happened to glance at the bulletin board across the hall from his room. What should catch my eye but an "Orchids of Minnesota" Poster, just like the one I have in my room! The one in my room was a gift from the Ely Scholar (my DNR-intern friend, who has commented so often on The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker).
 
The "Orchids of Minnesota" Poster across from Señor's room
The "Orchids of Minnesota" Poster in my classroom.
I mentioned the existence of this second "Orchids of Minnesota" Poster to my 4B English 12 class, and Emily W told me it had been up on that bulletin board since just before school started. If this is true, then it is also true that...

  • Although I used the Great Detective's famous judgment ("You see, but you do not observe") as an epigraph to a post about training one's eye to see details, I myself failed to observe this telling detail ("A Scandal in Bohemia")!
  • I must, therefore, eat a slice of Humble Pie! (But not umble pie! As a vegetarian, I just couldn't!)
  • The Lady Slipper Stalker, who put the Photo in Question on my car on August 27 or 28, may very well have put up this Poster at the same time, which I must take as evidence of a pre-meditated strategy...
  • The "Orchids of Minnesota" Poster is yet another item produced by the DNR, which points once again to Prime Suspect #1, Mr Diener!
Speaking of our Prime Suspect (who has so far garnered 50% of the votes in my sidebar Poll--closing date 11/3/14 at 9 pm), he called my attention to the Wildflower Mural above the 8th grade lockers just yesterday. Although I have seen it many times, I have not thought to examine it for clues! The Mural is very beautiful, and I recognize in it several flowers that grow in our area, including one lady Slipper. 

Unfortunately, I do not know who painted the mural, though if you look very closely along the bottom of it, you will see a few sets of initials. I also do not know when it was painted, though it has been here nearly as long as I have, I think. To my knowledge, it was not a senior project. I hope Those Who Know will enlighten me by leaving comments on this post...
 
Wildflower Mural, section 1 
Wildflower Mural, section 2

 
Wildflower Mural, section 3
Wildflower Mural, section 4: notice the Lady Slipper at the
right edge...

Wildflower Mural, section 5: here the Lady Slipper is
more visible.
Finally, Dear Readers, I present the list of Chocolate Pie recipients so that they may plan to come to my room on Tuesday, October 7th, during Community Time, to pick up their slices. I look forward to dishing out Chocolate Pie (it tastes much better than Humble Pie) and to making my donation to the Twenty-Five Year Club! And, of course, I look forward to hearing more of what my Dear Readers think... 







Chocolate Pie Recipients:
  1. Mrs GR
  2. Mrs GR (because she earned two slices!)
  3. Mr Mattson
  4. Ms Oswald
  5. Ms Tessier
  6. Mrs Fishel
  7. Mr Pearson 
  8. Mr Diener
  9. Mrs Kiero
  10. Mrs Castle
  11. Mrs Castle (because she earned two slices!)
  12. Jonathan T
  13. Tiffany W
  14. Brent L
  15. Sean S
  16. Mrs VB
  17. Lilly M
  18. Derek F
  19. The Ely Scholar 
  20. The Ely Scholar
  21. The Ely Scholar (who earned three slices! Delivery/Pick-up arranged)
  22. Charlie H
  23. Madame Greenan
  24. Mrs Lafond 

* Nota Bene: Dr N was using her Poetic License here, as she has never been employed by the Northland Orchid Society, but she does plan to attend its annual Fall orchid sale this weekend. 

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Red Herrings, Squared: Part Six of The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker

My poor windshield wipers...have mercy!
[This is Part Six of The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker. See also Parts OneTwoThreeFourFour-and-a-Half,  Four-and-Three-Quarters, and Part Five, along with Suggestions for My Dear ReadersA Note from Mrs Hudson, and A Plea For Help.]

Dear Readers, it would seem that I will never again need to purchase gallon-size Ziploc™ bags, for the Lady Slipper Stalker struck yesterday afternoon (Tuesday, the 16th of September), leaving inside the now-typical FOUR bags a Confusing Miscellany of items, along with a strangely-punctuated Rhyming Quatrain. I submit below, for your viewing pleasure, photos and brief descriptions of the items comprising the Confusing Miscellany: 

    The Sizable Chunk of Amethyst
  • A Sizable Chunk of Amethyst, possibly from the Thunder Bay area, which boasts a significantly large deposit of this gemstone. The Sizable Chunk reminded me immediately of one of my favorite chronicles of the Great Detective's exploits, "The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle.
  • The Romance Novel, which I do
    not have time to read...
  •  A Romance Novel, set during the period of the American Civil War and written by a Minnesota writer named Donna Weber (her surname, of course, brought immediately to mind my former colleague, the Great Naturalist Larry Weber, whose work I so admire, but as far as I can tell there is no connection between this author and Mr Weber). 
  • A Rubber Ducky, sporting a Deerstalker cap and reading a generic "Mystery" book. Never mind that Holmes never actually wore a Deerstalker--it has long been associated with him in the popular imagination. This item, especially in combination with the Sizable Chunk, again made me think of 
    The Rubber Ducky
    "The Blue Carbuncle," but I rather think that association exists only in my mind... Viewed from a certain angle, it did seem to me that the Rubber Ducky, with its prominent spectacles, might bear a slight resemblance to Mr Pearson!  --Or, to me, in my cold-weather cap, which I wore last weekend while biking along the Munger Trail! 
  • A Volume of Sudoku. This Volume
    The Volume of Sudoku
    contains very difficult version of the famous Japanese number puzzles. I have no hope whatsoever of working my way through this Volume... It would seem, though, to further implicate the Math Department.
  • A small Ceramic Figurine of an Iguana. It resembles the kind of figurine one might find in a box of tea bags. To my knowledge, there is no mention of an Iguana in Doyle's stories about Holmes. The Iguana Figurine had clearly once been glued to a piece of paper or cardboard, for its feet were still attached, by rather large blobs of adhesive, to cellulose fibers of a pinkish hue.

The Ceramic Figurine
  • Finally, the last item included in the Miscellany: A piece of quite ordinary paper on which was typed a strangely-punctuated Rhyming Quatrain. I say "strangely punctuated" because each line ends with a period, even though each line is not a complete sentence. It could also be argued, though there are some who disagree, that two of the sentence-fragments, which are clearly meant to be read together, exhibit a subject-verb disagreement. I am quite fond of Rhyming Quatrains, even if they are strangely-punctuated, so I must say I am delighted by this production. The Quatrain would also seem to be a clue, in the form of a Riddle, as to the identity of the Lady Slipper Stalker! 
The Strangely-Punctuated Rhyming Quatrain
Dear Readers, I have "look[ed]" and "look[ed] at these items," as commanded to do, yet still I am no closer to determining the identity of the Stalker. On the face of it, the Riddle would seem to suggest that I might use the Process of Elimination to determine the Stalker's identity. Holmes famously said, "when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth" (The Sign of Four). The Romance Novel, especially when combined with the Rhyming Quatrain, might be seen to eliminate the English Department, but considering the Romance Novel's historical setting, it might be intended to eliminate the Social Studies Department from my inquiries. The Volume of Sudoku clearly rules out the Math Department, and the strange assortment of zoological and geological specimens might be included so as to divert attention from the Science Department. 

Me, in my Cap
"On the face of it," I said above, but of course I am not ever satisfied with simple face value. As far as I am concerned, this Miscellany bears the unmistakeable stamp of the kindly but ever-calculating Ms Ball, who by means of strange punctuation and subject-verb disagreements, and through the use of Mathematical and Scientific specimens, would seem to be working rather hard to deluge me with Red Herrings. This does not mean I am ruling out one or more Math teachers (Mr Pearson recently cast suspicion upon his colleague, Ms Wulff) or Mr Diener (who told me that Mr Chernov spent time in Alaska, where the Spotted Slipper grows). No one, it seems, can yet, with certainty, be eliminated from my inquiries. 

Please continue, Dear Readers, to use the sidebar Poll to vote for your favorite suspect, and remember also to reserve your slice of Chocolate Pie by sending me a clue (however trivial it might be) or confession via the sidebar contact form. As of today, there are, I believe, sixteen pieces left!

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

A Plea For Help

[This post is part of The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker.]

To:  The League of Mathematical Scholars
From:  Dr Nygaard
Re:  Coded Message

Esteemed Scholars,

Consider this a formal request for two kinds of help from the League of Mathematical Scholars.

First, please see my blog post entitled “The Two-Pie Problem.” In that post is a photograph of a Coded Message I recently received from the Lady Slipper Stalker. Its puzzle is beyond my extremely limited mathematical skills. It would be a great help to me if your esteemed members would put their problem-solving skills to the task of deciphering it. Should you crack this most perplexing code, please send me the deciphered message via the “Send Me a Clue or a Confession!” form in the sidebar of my blog page. (Please include the names of the Scholars who break the code!)

Second—and this is a more delicate request—if you have any information for me about the identity of the Lady Slipper Stalker, I would very much appreciate it if you would pass it on, in a most discreet fashion, of course, by using, again, the form in the sidebar of my blog page. Truly, any help here is most appreciated. (Speak not a word to Mr Pearson!)

Note: If you use the form to send me any helpful information, be sure to reserve slices of Chocolate Pie as my reward to you for your help! At this time, there are 19 slices of pie remaining…

Let me offer my sincere thanks, in advance, for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Dr Nygaard

Monday, September 15, 2014

The Two-Pie Problem: Part Five of The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker

[This is Part Five of The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker. See also Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Four-and-a-Half, and Four-and-Three-Quarters, along with Suggestions for My Dear Readers and A Note from Mrs Hudson.]

"You must be joking!" I shouted to the Universe as I looked at my windshield. My loud exclamation brought Ms Ball and Mrs Flaherty to a halt. 

"Whatever is the matter?" asked the kindly but ever-calculating Ms Ball, as she and the highjinks-loving Mrs Flaherty hurried to my car.

"The Stalker has struck again!" I cried, for indeed upon my windshield was yet another item encased in FOUR plastic bags.  I called upon my two companions to be witnesses as I took the photo below and then proceeded to open the parcel.
Another plastic-wrapped gift from the Stalker.
Inside the FOUR plastic bags was a Coloring Book, featuring a broad selection of wildflowers. Look carefully at the photo to the left--you can see a piece of paper, folded in quarters (four would seem to be the Stalker's favorite number). I unfolded the paper to find typed upon it a Coded Message. I must admit I shouted again, and my interjection was one that I must not repeat here. As we peered at the Coded Message, I muttered something about how the Stalker must be familiar with "The Adventure of the Dancing Men," in which Sherlock Holmes deciphers a coded message comprised of stick figures. 

This Coded Message, however, was made up entirely of groups of two-digit numbers separated by dashes. The words, or so I supposed them to be, were arranged into two sentences, for there were two periods. One of the number groups appears twice:  "19 07 04."  
The Coded Message


For some reason I have yet to fathom, the sentences are broken into four lines, rather than extended across the page from margin to margin. It is difficult to determine if there were ten or twelve words, as the number groupings at the ends of the first and third lines could be seen as continuing into the second and fourth lines. There is also no consistency in the number of hyphens making up the dashes between the number groups:  3, 7, 8, 2, 8, 4, 8, and 8. The shortest words are three letters long while the longest are eight to ten letters long. Note also the slight indentation (of one space only) at the start of the third line, which may or may not be intentional. 

Friday evening, I tried various keys to assign letters to these numbers, but to no avail. I thought at first to try a simple key like the ones in the image below, but no luck. Then I thought perhaps the Coloring Book might be the key; after all, they were in the same package--there might be some relationship between the Code and the Book...
Simple number-letter substitutions
Again, I had no luck.  I thought back to "The Adventure of the Dancing Men"; might this story itself be the key? I don't think so. I couldn't make it work. And what am I to make of the double zero at the beginning of the second word? What an enigma! I hope it won't take an enigma machine to crack this code. I fell asleep at my labors, with numbers and letters swimming before my tired eyes...


The Contents of the Coloring Book--no mention 
of the Bottle Gentian, and only one Lady Slipper 
is featured.
I awoke, Dear Readers, early the next morning, determined to clear my head and distract myself for a time from the impossible problem of the Coded Message. I knew of no better way to work the cobwebs from my brain than to bicycle along the beautiful Munger Trail for a few hours. As the Great Detective once said, "A change of work is the best rest" (The Sign of Four).  So I worked my way along the Trail, pedalling doggedly in search of new sights, reading the Book of Nature instead of that ghastly Coded Message! (Let's see who's paying attention: 1 extra point to the first AP Lit student of the class of 2015 who can explain to the world what the "Book of Nature" is.)  
Bottle Gentian:  The Final Flower.
I was hoping to see the Bottle Gentian, which--by the way--is not featured in the Coloring Book. It is a lovely blue flower that blooms during the very last days of Summer--I always think of it as the Final Flower.  I found the Bottle Gentian blooming where I have seen it in the past, and it was a comforting sight. Having seen it, I felt I could say farewell to Summer and begin to welcome Autumn.  
Purple Club Coral in the shadows of the trees.

The beginnings of Autumn are marked also by an abundance of mushrooms along the Trail. I have often said that I discover something new almost every time I explore it, and this time was no different. I happened upon a large patch of purple coral fungus (alloclavaria purpurea) under some conifers. Although I have occasionally seen other kinds of coral mushrooms, I have never seen this kind before. It is sometimes called Purple Tongues or Purple Club Coral. It was exhilarating to find something new. 

In my excitement, I stopped to text a photo of my discovery to
The Text-versation (created with 
iPhone TextClone.com).
Madame Greenan. An interesting text-versation ensued, as you can see to the left. Madame's idea was a good one, I decided, and perhaps worth the risk. The League of Mathematical Scholars might indeed be able to help, and I need all the help I can get. Everyone knows that I am not good with numbers--simple subtraction is often beyond me. 

I remembered, as I continued to take photos of the Club Coral, that the lovely Mrs Birnbaum was once a Math teacher, a Math teacher who also loved to grow flowers and create beautiful flower-arrangements. Surely, one or more Math teachers is involved in this ever-more-complicated conspiracy... [Update: Mrs B contacted me, using the "Send Me a Clue or a Confession!" form in the sidebar to the right; she did not confess, but she said, rather enigmatically, that there was a name missing from the "Vote for Your Favorite Suspect" Poll in the sidebar! I ask you, Dear Readers, is she merely trying to divert suspicion from herself, or is there a suspect out there whom I have overlooked?]



The Giant Puffball, with my admittedly small foot 
for size reference!
As I continued along the Trail, stopping to take photos along the way of other fungi, such as the Giant Puffball you see to the right, I began to torment myself with second thoughts. I pride myself on noticing details, on hunting down the answer to the most perplexing problem, on checking and re-checking all the data at my disposal...Could I have missed something? I stooped under the branches of a small tree to peer at what looked like yet another puffball--sadly, it was merely a partially-submerged golf ball! 
When is a Puffball not a Puffball?
When it's a Golf Ball masquerading 
as a Puffball.



I continued my ruminations: A recent comment from my DNR-intern friend cast suspicion upon Mrs Birnbaum, while another comment from Mr Pearson suggested that Mr Dexheimer might be involved. I was beginning to suspect everyone! I paused, after taking a photo of more Purple Club Coral, to take a bite of the chocolate bar I had brought with me...I often rely upon this divine substance, Nature's gift to humanity, to soothe my troubled mind and stimulate my intellectual faculties. I followed a deer trail down the slope where the colony of Club fungus grew and headed back towards my bicycle, eyes searching the underbrush for more fungi. "--Eureka!" I exclaimed. I had an idea, or at least a thought. 
More Purple Club Coral fungus.


The Purple Club Coral got me thinking about the Twenty-Five Year Club! I have long suspected this Secret Society, with its exclusive membership, to be at the heart of this mystery. One or possibly two of its members have behaved suspiciously. --And hiding behind the cloak of their prestige, they can collaborate to concoct such puzzles as the Coded Message! Why, then, was I working alone?! Did I not have a community from which to draw help and support? --This was clearly a Two-Pie Problem!


Mr Breen and Mr Neblett had been urging the faculty to collaborate, to work together to solve problems and improve the school--this was a perfect opportunity! And my idea would get the Class of 2015 involved as well! After all, we claim to teach our students to be critical thinkers and problem solvers! We encourage them to be creative! Should we not also be so?

Yes, I would approach the League of Mathematical Scholars and ask for their help, despite the risks. I would also challenge the Faculty and Class of 2015 to exchange (1) tips for deciphering the Coded Message or (2) clues to the identity of the Lady Slipper Stalker for pieces of my famous Chocolate Pie


Part of a large colony of Purple Club Coral fungus
on the Munger Trail.
For every such exchange, I would donate $1 to the Twenty-Five Year Club Fund. (I carefully calculated the figures, checking them twice: I would make two pies, each divided into twelve pieces, which would result in a donation of only $24. I resolved that if both pies sold, I would add an extra dollar to make my donation match the name of the prestigious Club, $25.)  Tuesday, October 7th, would be the day when people could collect their pie slices, but I would start collecting tips and clues immediately

Dear Readers, you may use the contact form (in the sidebar to the right) to submit tips and clues--be sure to say you wish to reserve a slice of pie when you do so--or you may speak to me in person.

I started to feel much better--surely, this creative and collaborative strategy would yield results! 

Guest Post: A Note From Mrs Hudson

[This is a guest post, written by Ms Julie Ball with the encouragement of Dr Nygaard, and it is part of The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker.  Ms Ball has chosen to use the persona of Mrs Hudson, Sherlock Holmes's devoted landlady. Perhaps there will be more such posts in the future...]

Hudson House Flats
Duluth, Minnesota

September 2014


To:  Dr. Susan Nygaard, Ph.D.
Re: Lease Agreement


Lease Agreement, to date, is in good standing.  

Not withstanding the oddities of your Current Preoccupation, the timeliness of your Lease Agreement and the tips for Valet are noticed and certainly appreciated.* 
While it is not my place to notice nor mention Daily Habits of Tenants, I can not help but observe that you have been especially nervous as you exit the building and enter your vehicle at the beginning of a work day. And it appears to me that you hurry from said vehicle to gain entrance to the building at the end of a day. I can not help but observe an uneasiness, a wariness, in your demeanor this fortnight past. I shudder to think what you must fear, continually looking over your shoulders in suspicion.  

Please note that I am grateful that you do not exhibit the following:

  •  incredible untidiness
  •  addiction to music at strange hours
  •  occasional revolver practice indoors
  •  weird, often malodorous scientific experiments
  •  atmosphere of violence, danger
However, I have heard the muffled sound of pacing footsteps emanating from your flat deep into the night. What night terrors haunt you in the darkness I can only imagine. Such a Lady as you should be cozy at home, slippered and drinking tea while reading novels.

Please know I hold you in High Regard and am ever at your service,


Mrs Hudson


*Note: Dear Readers, You should know that Dr Nygaard's Poetic License, which she dutifully renews annually, gives her the privilege of valet parking at Hudson House Flats, and she is a generous tipper. The Valet wanted me to make special note of his gratitude. Mrs H.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Suggestions For My Dear Readers & Two New Blog Features

[This post is part of The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker.]

It strikes me, Dear Readers, that many of you (young and old alike) would find it helpful if I recommended a list of Sherlock Holmes stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle for you to read. 

Please note that for each title I recommend, I will first link to a free online version of the text and then to a free online audio version. If there is only one link for a title, that's because the text version is accompanied by a built-in audio option. 


If you wish to know to how Dr John Watson and Mr Sherlock Holmes meet, you can read Chapters 1 & 2 of A Study in Scarlet, one of Doyle's four Holmes novels. 


From The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, Doyle's first collection of Holmes stories, I recommend the following short stories:  "A Scandal in Bohemia," "The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle," 

and "The Adventure of the Speckled Band."

From The Return of Sherlock Holmes, another collection of Holmes stories, I suggest "The Adventure of the Six Napoleons" and "The Adventure of the Dancing Men." (This last story will have some bearing on Part Five of The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker, which is coming soon...)


Especially for English 12 students, I provide links to The Hound of the Baskervilles, another (short) novel about Holmes.  And perhaps everybody should read this very interesting article...


Some years ago, I wrote a couple of mini-parodies of Sherlock Holmes stories as grammar exercises for my students--they should be warned that I might assign them at some point; thus, I include them below...



Before I conclude this post, Dear Readers, let me direct your attention to two new blog features in the sidebar to the right: I have added a Poll, where you may cast your vote (until 11/3/14) for your favorite suspect. You may also send me a clue or a confession by using the message form directly beneath the Poll.  Please do make use of these new tools! (Note: If the Poll is not visible, switch your WiFi to an unsecured network, refresh the page, and try again.) 

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Nightmare Redux: Part Four-and-Three-Quarters of The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker

[This is Part Four-and-Three-Quarters of The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker. See also Parts One, Two, Three, Four, and Four-and-a-Half.]

When I reached the teacher mailboxes on Friday, the 12th of September, I was greeted with the sight below. 
The Photoshopped Image
Affixed above my mailbox was an Image of Boris Karloff, the actor who played Frankenstein's Creature in the famous 1931 film adaptation of Mary Shelley's novel. Photoshopped into that black-and-white Image was a color photo of a Spotted Lady Slipper, Cypripedium guttatum. (I shall say more about this species later...) It was a quite lovely, and, in light of my recent nightmare, somewhat reassuring, Image. There was nothing on the back, however, to indicate who might have placed it there. (Absent also were any citations for the sources of the two images.) I'm certain that if Mr Mattson had created the Image, he would have used a tool like Photopin.com to acquire the photographs legally, and he would have included proper credits. Clearly, I'm dealing with someone who has no regard for copyright and intellectual/artistic property rights!
Spotted Lady Slipper (cypripedium guttatum) 
photo credit: ressaure via photopin cc

I showed the Photoshopped Image to Mrs Kanoff and Mrs Lafond, both of whom admired it but also claimed ignorance. Mrs Lafond did say she had seen Mr Diener in the vicinity of the mailboxes just a few moments earlier. Mrs Kosmatka was not in at the time, or I would have asked her if she had created the Image; she might have the necessary Photoshop skills. Of course, I began again to suspect Mr Anderson because of all his interest in digital art, and I know that Ms Durant is also quite familiar with Photoshop... 


The Creature (Boris Karloff) & Maria (Marilyn 
Harris), from the 1931 film Frankenstein
directed by James Whale.
photo credit: twm1340 via photopin cc
As I took the Photoshopped Image back to my classroom, I looked at it more closely. It brought to mind the scene from the film (which bears little resemblance to the novel--such films never do, in my opinion) in which the Creature encounters a little girl named Maria who gives him some flowers she has been gathering. This innocent child then teaches the Creature to toss the blossoms into the nearby lake, to watch them float. Perhaps mistaking the child for yet another flower, the Creature tosses Maria into the water, and she drowns! He does not mean for this to happen, of course, but happen it does. I began to feel rather uneasy again, remembering that my recent nightmare ended with my immiment drowning...

I decided to put such uncomfortable thoughts out of my mind, so I focused closely upon the Spotted Lady Slipper in the Image. In the United States, Cypripedium guttatum is found only in Alaska. Searching my memory for faculty connections to Alaska, I came up short; I am not aware of any. (Dear Readers, if you are aware of any such connections, do let me know!) Of course, the Spotted Slipper also grows in the boreal regions of Canada, Russia, China, and Korea. I currently have students from some of those countries, and I have had several Russian, Chinese, and Korean students in the past, even a few Canadians! Might they also be part of this conspiracy?! I wondered if Ms Knudsen might know something. 

Not long after this thought, I packed up my bag and headed out. As I was leaving the building, the kindly but ever-calculating Ms Ball and the highjacks-loving Mrs Flaherty were on their way to the Football game. They were with me when I reached my car... But you'll have to wait, Dear Readers, for Part Five of The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker to find out what happened next.