Thursday, September 25, 2014

Another Confession: Part Seven-and-Three-Quarters of The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker

[This is Part Seven-and-Three-Quarters of The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker. See also Parts OneTwoThreeFourFour-and-a-HalfFour-and-Three-QuartersSuggestions for My Dear ReadersA Note from Mrs HudsonFive,  A Plea For HelpSix, Seven, and Seven-and-a Half.]

Two confessions in less than twenty-four hours! Perhaps, Dear Readers, I shall soon know the identity of the Lady Slipper Stalker! I received the message below only a few hours ago...

Dr N,

I shall confess to placing the poster of the three orchids across from Señor Woodward's classroom, but I hope this doesn't lower my status as Prime Suspect #1. I feel so honored and have seldom been number 1 for anything except in the ugly sweater contest for the last two years. (Do you know of anyone who makes ugly orchid holiday sweaters? That might guarantee a three-peat for me!) I love the notion of flowers throughout campus as well as the misdirection that putting an orchid poster up seems to produce. 

I was surprised by two things related to placing that poster. The first was how easy it was to do. Imagine the possibilities of complex and careful scheming. The second was how very unobservant some are about something that only showed up on Monday of this week.

Please redact with a "strike-through" any parts of this email you think could assist our mystery stalker, whoever it might be.
Mr Diener, Prime Suspect #1.

The "Orchids of Minnesota" Poster that Mr Diener, Prime Suspect #1, placed across from Señor's room on Monday, the 22nd. 
Mr Diener told me he put up the poster on Monday of this week, which I have since confirmed with Mr Mattson, who was busily removing old staples from the bulletin boards in F-Wing last week: Mattson says there was no poster. This casts doubt on the information supplied by Emily W, who claimed that the poster had been up on the board before school even started! (I did wonder if someone--Mr Pearson, perhaps--had persuaded her to feed me misinformation!) In his message, Mr Diener gently accuses me of being "unobservant," but my lapse is now revealed to be less extreme than I earlier thought it was. Perhaps I need not have eaten an entire slice of Humble Pie?

In any case, it is clear that Mr Diener enjoys being Prime Suspect #1, even while he claims to be diverting my attention from the central mystery: the identity of the Lady Slipper Stalker

I ask you, my Dear Readers, can one be both Prime Suspect #1 and a semi-innocent bystander at once? I suspect Mr Diener's last sentence is a bit disingenuous... I do, however, appreciate this sudden surge of honesty!


  1. One can't help but note that an anagram of "lady slipper" is "Dr. pally pies" and wonder that this entire event is just a ploy designed to get our "pal(ly)" "Dr" Nygaard to make us some "pies"! Dr. Pally Pies!

    1. Another anagram for "Lady Slipper" is Slippery Lad, so if the slipper fits...

  2. Speaking of anagrams ... I say the simpler the better: Is Suspect Pearson a suspect person?