Friday, September 12, 2014

An Evidentiary Interlude: Part Four-and-a-Half of The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker

[This is Part Four-and-a-Half of The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker. See also Parts One, Two, Three,  and Four.]

After the Disturbing Developments I recorded in my previous post, I received a number of interesting replies and messages. Having no loyal Watson at my side, I feel a bit "lost without [a] Boswell," as the Great Detective was known to have said upon at least one occasion. (Let's see who's paying attention: 1 point to the first member of the class of 2015 who can identify the source of, explain the meaning of, and clarify the allusion in, that quotation.) I alone must catalog and archive for posterity a growing collection of artifacts and items of evidence. In addition to the Photo in Question, the Advertisement, the Curious Gift, the Friendly Missive, the Small Sign, the Charming Book, and the Troubling Email, I submit the following items for your consideration, Dear Readers:
Señora's photo (thank you!)
from the lunch line; note
the back-view of Señor's
Ultra-cool 'do.

  • A taunting reply to Part Four from Mr Johnson (Middle School) in which he claimed to have had "Lady Slipper Soup" for lunch, served up in our own kitchen by Chef Korach himself! (I shudder to think of what might be included in such a stew!)
  • An email from Señora Stuchis which included a photo of the Menu Board with its brazen advertisement of a vegetarian "Lady Slipper Special." Her message also informed me that Mr Diener (Prime Suspect #1) had been on duty, serving lunch to the Middle
    I went to the Cafeteria myself this
    morning to investigate & take a
    close-up of the Menu Board
    School students, that very day.  Señor Woodward was the server-on-duty during Upper School lunch...
  • A reminder from Mr Lockhart that there is a "Lady Slipper Lodge" at Gooseberry Falls State Park, where Mr Diener works on the weekends.
  • A note from Ms Kiero reporting on an interesting exchange that took place during a Math Department Meeting, in which Ms Oswald asked Ms Momsen if she were "the ONE," to which Ms Momsen replied with a definite "No."
  • Information from Brent L (the first of my F-Wing Irregulars):  Brent reports that Mr Pearson, while reading the morning announcements to his class, added the clause "and be sure to bring a Lady Slipper" to his reading of my notice about today's GSA meeting. Brent took this as an opportunity to ask Mr Pearson if there were in fact a Math Department conspiracy in the works, to which Mr Pearson enigmatically replied: "he who points a finger finds three pointed back at him." (Is this a threat, I wonder? I shall watch my back!)
  • A lengthy reply from the kindly but ever-calculating Ms Ball, a screenshot of which is reproduced below, and to which I replied with an epistle of my own, reproduced below that.
The Lengthy Reply
My Epistle in response to the Lengthy Reply
In the Epistle above, note how I may have narrowly escaped ingesting a possibly poisonous brew, proffered in the spirit of friendship. As I close this post, I am preparing to take a walk around the school, to look for more clues and to check my mailbox in the Main Office...


  1. "Lost without Boswell" is a reference to James Boswell who was a admirer/companion of Dr. Samuel Johnson, just like Dr. Watson was Sherlock Holmes' companion. Boswell even kept a journal/diary of Dr. Johnson just like Dr. Watson did for Mr. Holmes.

  2. Boswell has become a term for companion or friend. As first used in Sherlock Holmes. Used in A Scandal in Bohemia.

  3. Reply: The sources should be italicized.

  4. "A Scandal in Bohemia" not italicized because it's a short story.

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. Oops! This is Megan C's mom. Ms Birnbaum's son Leif has a chocolate lab puppy that I vaccinated last week. The Very Cute puppy in question, whose name is Odin, suspiciously had part of a Lady Slipper flower hanging from the corner of his mouth. Just saying... And Ms Birnbaum is RETIRED, with all sorts of free time on her hands. And when I chatted with her in the grass outside of my clinic, ostensibly to "catch up" on our respective families and lives, she was shifting uneasily from foot to foot, darting furtive glances to either side...

    1. Hmm, that is interesting information, indeed. However, I am suspicious on three counts: Firstly, as of last week, the Puppy, no matter how Cute, could NOT have had a Lady Slipper Flower in his mouth because the last Slippers in our entire region died back, in the process I describe in the first paragraph of my Epistle--pay attention!--several weeks ago; Secondly, while Mrs B is retired, as you say, she is still working from time to time and staying quite busy by doing all she can to brighten the lives of her youngest relations--If she were "shifting uneasily from foot to foot," it might simply signify that she was tired and wanting to get off her feet to rest. This is not to say that I don't, on some level, suspect her; Thirdly, I can hardly accept information from someone who hacks into her daughter's brand new (& supposedly more secure) Gmail account just to lay blame on another person! I do commend you, though, for honestly identifying yourself in your well-written comment.

  7. The vet technician casts blame upon gentle Mrs B and an innocent PUPPY?! I assure you, little Odin is good for biting with incredibly sharp puppy teeth and little else at this point in his young life.

    However, Mrs B has a lengthy history with many of your prime suspects. One key detail leads me to believe that Mrs B may indeed be an accomplice to these Slipper Shenanigans.

    A beautifully illustrated, culturally inclusive children's book about our state's most beloved flower could come from anyone... but said book carefully wrapped in not one, but FOUR plastic bags for safe-keeping? Only the most fastidious amongst us would take such care in leaving another Slipper Souvenir for you to ponder. I don't mean to throw Mrs B under the bus without being certain of her guilt... but I guess that's what I've done!

    1. You do make a good point about the four bags. I don't suppose you'd want to do a little investigating for me to confirm these allegations, would you?