Red Herrings, Squared: Part Six of The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker

My poor windshield wipers...have mercy!

[This is Part Six of The Case of the Lady Slipper Stalker. See also Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Four-and-a-Half,  Four-and-Three-Quarters, and Part Five, along with Suggestions for My Dear Readers, A Note from Mrs Hudson, and A Plea For Help.]

Dear Readers, it would seem that I will never again need to purchase gallon-size Ziploc™ bags, for the Lady Slipper Stalker struck yesterday afternoon (Tuesday, the 16th of September), leaving inside the now-typical FOUR bags a Confusing Miscellany of items, along with a strangely-punctuated Rhyming Quatrain. I submit below, for your viewing pleasure, photos and brief descriptions of the items comprising the Confusing Miscellany: 

The Sizable Chunk of Amethyst

• A Sizable Chunk of Amethyst, possibly from the Thunder Bay area, which boasts a significantly large deposit of this gemstone. The Sizable Chunk reminded me immediately of one of my favorite chronicles of the Great Detective's exploits, "The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle." 



The Romance Novel, which I do
not have time to read...

•  A Romance Novel, set during the period of the American Civil War and written by a Minnesota writer named Donna Weber (her surname, of course, brought immediately to mind my former colleague, the Great Naturalist Larry Weber, whose work I so admire, but as far as I can tell there is no connection between this author and Mr Weber). 
• A Rubber Ducky, sporting a Deerstalker cap and reading a generic "Mystery" book. Never mind that Holmes never actually wore a Deerstalker--it has long been associated with him in the popular imagination. This item, especially in combination with the Sizable Chunk, again made me think of 

  

  The Rubber Ducky

  "The Blue Carbuncle," but I rather think that association exists only in my mind... Viewed from a certain angle, it did seem to me that the Rubber Ducky, with its prominent spectacles, might bear a slight resemblance to Mr Pearson!  --Or, to me, in my cold-weather cap, which I wore last weekend while biking along the Munger Trail! 
• A Volume of Sudoku. This Volume

  

  The Volume of Sudoku

  contains very difficult version of the famous Japanese number puzzles. I have no hope whatsoever of working my way through this Volume... It would seem, though, to further implicate the Math Department.
• A small Ceramic Figurine of an Iguana. It resembles the kind of figurine one might find in a box of tea bags. To my knowledge, there is no mention of an Iguana in Doyle's stories about Holmes. The Iguana Figurine had clearly once been glued to a piece of paper or cardboard, for its feet were still attached, by rather large blobs of adhesive, to cellulose fibers of a pinkish hue.

The Ceramic Figurine

• Finally, the last item included in the Miscellany: A piece of quite ordinary paper on which was typed a strangely-punctuated Rhyming Quatrain. I say "strangely punctuated" because each line ends with a period, even though each line is not a complete sentence. It could also be argued, though there are some who disagree, that two of the sentence-fragments, which are clearly meant to be read together, exhibit a subject-verb disagreement. I am quite fond of Rhyming Quatrains, even if they are strangely-punctuated, so I must say I am delighted by this production. The Quatrain would also seem to be a clue, in the form of a Riddle, as to the identity of the Lady Slipper Stalker! 

The Strangely-Punctuated Rhyming Quatrain

Dear Readers, I have "look[ed]" and "look[ed] at these items," as commanded to do, yet still I am no closer to determining the identity of the Stalker. On the face of it, the Riddle would seem to suggest that I might use the Process of Elimination to determine the Stalker's identity. Holmes famously said, "when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth" (The Sign of Four). The Romance Novel, especially when combined with the Rhyming Quatrain, might be seen to eliminate the English Department, but considering the Romance Novel's historical setting, it might be intended to eliminate the Social Studies Department from my inquiries. The Volume of Sudoku clearly rules out the Math Department, and the strange assortment of zoological and geological specimens might be included so as to divert attention from the Science Department. 

Me, in my Cap

"On the face of it," I said above, but of course I am not ever satisfied with simple face value. As far as I am concerned, this Miscellany bears the unmistakeable stamp of the kindly but ever-calculating Ms Ball, who by means of strange punctuation and subject-verb disagreements, and through the use of Mathematical and Scientific specimens, would seem to be working rather hard to deluge me with Red Herrings. This does not mean I am ruling out one or more Math teachers (Mr Pearson recently cast suspicion upon his colleague, Ms Wulff) or Mr Diener (who told me that Mr Chernov spent time in Alaska, where the Spotted Slipper grows). No one, it seems, can yet, with certainty, be eliminated from my inquiries. 

Please continue, Dear Readers, to use the sidebar Poll to vote for your favorite suspect, and remember also to reserve your slice of Chocolate Pie by sending me a clue (however trivial it might be) or confession via the sidebar contact form. As of today, there are, I believe, sixteen pieces left!